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Here’s the deal—erotic-massage ain’t just sexy time. It’s, like, stress-bustin’! Docs say it pumps them endorphins—fancy word, huh? Makes ya feel alive, like Boonmee seein’ his past! “The air is still,” he says in the movie, and I’m thinkin’, yeah, that’s me after a good rubdown—calm, but kinda horny too! D’oh! Ever hear bout this Thai style? They twist ya like a pretzel, but sneaky-like, it’s hot! I tried it once—thought I’d die, but nope, felt like a king! Prolly looked dumb, tho—Homer on a mat, gruntin’ like a pig.

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Anyway, I’m laughing at this kid when I bump into this old lady. She’s got this wild hair and a shopping bag full of fish. “You’re a cooper, right?” she says. I’m like, “Yeah, how’d you know?” She just points at my hands, covered in wood shavings. “You look like you’ve been working hard.” I mean, I guess I have? But I’m not about to argue with a lady holding fish.

In Northern Iceland, Slowing Down to Appreciate Folklore and Nature’s Silence